I seem to have entered the third phase of my recurring battle with the demon bean that is coffee. Phase One is when I realize that "I don't need coffee" - like anyone "needs" anything! - and enjoy a few weeks of cold turkey euphoria. My energy levels are good, herbal tea still tastes palatable, and I'm not really even thinking about what I'm missing. Then comes Phase Two, when for one reason or another I start sneaking an occasional morning cup into my daily routine. "Hey, it's the weekend!" I say to myself. "I'm running on empty - just one cup, and I'll be fine." This stage tends to last about a month or two, when my cravings for caffeine are held in a kind of equilibrium that seemingly could go on forever. And then one day I'll stupidly break the spell, and treat myself to an afternoon cup. That's when Phase Three comes crashing down all around me. Suddenly where no cups or just one cup was all I needed, two doesn't seem quite enough any more, and I start daydreaming about espresso machines, iced Vietnamese coffee, and that Starbucks they're building across the street from the library (not fast enough, dammit!). Madness soon follows. Eventually I tire of not being able to sleep at night and get back on the wagon, but it's usually a wild ride before I re-attain that kind of clarity...

At least I'm not down South, or in Jersey, where sweet tea is cheap and plentiful and oh-so-caffeinated. My mother unwittingly raised me on a steady diet of this supersweet nectar (which if you're not familiar with it, is what many people confuse with "iced tea". Don't be fooled! Iced tea and sweet tea are two different animals. The former is generally swill, with a chemical "lemon" flavor that tastes like cleaner, and usually sold in bottles; whereas the latter is made with real sugar, real high-quality brewed tea, and lots of ice, and served generously throughout the Southern states. Of course, both may seem barbarous to hot tea afficionados, but I assure you that sweet tea is far less a sacrilege than a bottle of Snapple!), so between the sugar and the caffeine I buzzed around like a hummingbird as a child, just brimming with nervous, devious energy. Poor mom - I guess she meant well! These days I save my sweet tea binges for vacations, although there's an excellent Chai Spice blend from Stash Tea that makes for excellent Indian-style iced tea.